Finally the trial has begun for this tragedy that occurred last year at my alma mater Rutgers University. Thinking about the whole situation makes me really sick and I wanted to express some of my thoughts on this case. I feel especially close to this case as Dharun graduated from the same school system I did and both he and Tyler Clementi went to Rutgers as well.  Obviously, it is an incredible tragedy that Tyler took his life as a result of the actions of Dharun coupled with his own insecurities regarding his sexual orientation. What frustrates me the most when I hear radio personalities and the like discussing this case is when they say that, had Tyler not been gay, this could not even be an issue. How can that possibly be? Had I been in the same situation as a freshman at Rutgers –  invited a guy I was interested in to my dorm room, gotten intimate, and later realized it had been broadcast live on the Internet by my roommate – I most certainly would have had a huge problem with that. I absolutely would have pressed charges against my roommate for the invasion of privacy and had serious issues with the status of my reputation. To say that it wouldn’t have affected a heterosexual person in the same way is an absolute,  terrible lie.

What really is at the root of this horrendous event is the fact that people have no respect for other people. Everyone should be held accountable for their actions when they involve disrespectfully, intentionally embarrassing someone else. That people don’t see that is a huge reason why bullying continues to grow and grow among kids. Rather than holding Dharun accountable for treating someone else badly, people try to absolve what he did by saying that there is no way what he did resulted in Tyler’s suicide or that he was uncomfortable having a gay roommate. I agree that no one person should be held accountable for another individual’s suicide, but Dharun should be held accountable for taking someone’s reputation and privacy and making a joke about it. What he did publicly humiliated Tyler. What he did would have publicly humiliated whoever was being videotaped. We cannot keep making excuses for people who have no respect for other people. There is a huge difference between disliking someone and disrespecting someone. He could have disliked Tyler, but he did not need to disrespect him in such a public way.

Kids and young adults are being given way too much freedom and power with the Internet. Until the consequences of abusing that power are made clear, they will continue to ruin the lives and reputations of people they “dislike” just because they can. No one should have that power and kids need to be held accountable when they make it their business to embarrass and disrespect someone on a global level. I truly hope Dharun is made an example of because his bad judgment, his desire to make everyone laugh at someone else, and his ultimate disrespect for another human. To give him a pass by saying he was acting “immaturely” as the prosecution contests is the same as not holding boys who bully accountable because “boys will be boys.” We need to stop making excuses for kids who can’t learn how to act respectfully towards people, even if they dislike them, instead of validating their actions by making excuses.

I had the exciting opportunity to work with the Kidsbridge group from Timberlane Middle School last month. This group has the role of building bridges between students as they promote good character. They were a wonderful group to work with and they absolutely rose to the occasion for their performances. They even had the opportunity to perform for the parents and community members as well as their Superintendent. The debriefing sessions provided some very interesting insight into the school climate situation at the school and the performers really approached the sessions with the sensitive respect they deserve.

I love returning to the Souderton Area School District and working with the kids from Valley was exactly the wonderful experience I thought it would be. There were some familiar faces from last year’s performance and I was thrilled to work with them again. After some great performances last year, they had a lot to live up to! Their performance proved to be extremely moving- especially to the sixth grade audience. Their words and the powerpoint had a profound impact on the sixth grade audience members which really shows the performers how powerful their voice can be. The school had decided to try something new and use their “advisory” time the following Monday to conduct the debriefing sessions. I am sure that those sessions went really well as those Connections groups were already used to speaking openly and honestly with each other.

Excellent job everyone!

In early February, I visited Collingswood Middle School to work with their 6-9 grade students. This group had a lot to say right from the beginning and were enthusiastic all week. Although several kids had doubted their ability to get their lines performance ready by showtime, they all did an outstanding job. Their voices filled up a two story auditorium for all four grades and there was not a peep from the audience the entire performance. I think they were surprised by the amount of respectful attention given to them by their peers – but they certainly deserved it. The debriefing sessions that I sat in on were extremely powerful – with students asking very poignant questions. They doubted that their voice could truly make a difference but by the end of the discussion groups seemed to understand just how much of a difference their voice could make.

Nice and close to my home was Paul Robeson Charter School. This group of kids came such a long way in both viewpoint and performance from Monday to Friday. In a little bit of a chaotic rehearsal situation, we were able to accomplish so much. I cannot tell you how proud I was of this specific group because by the end of this week, they had really begun to understand what we were talking about. I heard them saying things to their classmates about respect and about how painful name calling can be. They led their debriefing groups with absolute authenticity and I was just moved to watch them.

I can only hope they take what they have learned and apply it to their daily lives. They truly matured during the week we were together and I was awed by the respect they gave this program.

*I apologize for the quality of this picture – for some reason it came out so blurred.

What an honor it was to return to my high school to present my program. It is always so wonderful to go back to South as I have amazing memories from the four years I spent there. Meeting the group of kids was wonderful- as they were as talented and eclectic as I knew they would be. We had an extra large cast so it gave us the opportunity to add some high school specific lines to the Bystander roles. This group was extremely talented and really took the lines to heart.

I am always a little more nervous at high schools since I am unsure as to how the audience will respond. The audiences at South were outstanding. They were attentive and responsive and seemed to really get a lot out of the performance. The hour long debriefing sessions that followed were AMAZING! I was so impressed with how the performers really listened to the kids in their groups and made really profound observations on their own behavior. I happened to be present when one of the performers who was leading a session apologized to a student in the debriefing for his role in a name calling incident years earlier. It is such a great feeling to see kids really GET what we are talking about. That was the perfect example.

Another one of my favorite schools to return to is Christa McAuliffe Middle School in Jackson, NJ. These students are so lucky to have the wonderful Jamie Boccia as a SAC helping them in countless ways throughout every moment of their time as McAuliffe. This group really got into their parts in the program as many of them were used to performing in front of their peers. At McAuliffe, the performances are held in the cafeteria and it is always powerful to me to see how quiet the cafeteria can become when this performance is going on. The performers held the attention of each grade in their school and maintained that focus during their debriefing sessions.

I was so grateful for the opportunity to work with this wonderful group and I know their voices were definitely heard by their classmates. Well done! I hope Beauty and the Beast is just about ready for performance!! Break a leg!

It was my ultimate honor to return to Tenafly Middle School to work with the wonderful RAPPers under the direction of Daryl George. I absolutely love going to this school to work with this dynamic group and this year did not disappoint! From the moment we got working, I knew this group was full of confident and talented students who were going to take their role in this program very seriously. All week we had wonderful discussions about the bullying climate in their school and their reactions to the program when they saw it as 6th graders. It is always amazing to me how much they can remember about the performance.

On the day of the assemblies (three separate performances) there was a horrible accident on George Washington Bridge that kept me delayed in hours of traffic. Luckily, we were able to work the schedule so that all the performances could still be performed for the student body. This cast was extremely professional in both their ability to adapt and in their performances. These performance were FLAWLESS and I loved sitting in the audience and watching this powerful performance presented by talented professionals. The debriefing sessions were highly successful as the RAPPers are used to speaking with their peers about serious topics.

I was so proud of how the program went and cannot wait to return again!

I had the opportunity to work with the wonderful students at both Crossroads North and South in South Brunswick, NJ. It was a first for me – training two separate casts within the same rehearsal time and space. Although a little chaotic and very focused, we were able to come up with performances that were really powerful for everyone. Due to a tragedy in the school, we amended our performance little bit which caused some concern among the performers. Regardless of what was left out of the presentation, the message the kids presented was heard loud and clear from the audience members. Most rewarding to me was the fact that the kids remained focused and driven through a week of ups and downs while bringing everything they had to their performances.

It was an honor to work with these two dynamic groups and I know they made a hue impact on each other and their school community.