A few weeks ago, I returned to the Souderton Area School District to work with the kids at Indian Valley Middle School. Upon meeting this wonderfull group, I knew we were going to have a great time together. They were full of energy from the second I met them and seemed excited to get started. Rehearsals went really well and the kids all found the confidence needed to present such powerful words to their peers. OnFriday, they had three assemblies (one for each grade.) Each performance was better than the next! Since we didn’t have time to go back to classrooms for debriefing sessions, we conducted the debriefing sessions in the auditorium. We tried once breaking them into small groups throughout the space, but I didn’t feel that everyone was having a good opportunity to hear the necessary componants of the debriefing. For the second and third assemblies, we held one large group debriefing session. I led most of the question and answer session while pointing out specific tools the bystanders could use to intervene in a positive way. The comments and stories from the audience we so amazing and powerful giving everyone real insight into what it’s like to be bullied.

Two weeks ago,  a Buffalo, NY teen committed suicide to escape the daily harassment he faced due to his sexual orientation. Jamey Rodemeyer was described a sweet person with a huge heart who bravely tried to inspire others in his situation through the “It Gets Better” campaign. Despite dealing with his own personal torment, Jamey posted a YouTube video telling others dealing with the same problem that it would get better. To be a position such a Jamey’s where you are saying those words out loud, “It gets better,” broadcasting them for the world to hear, but are unable to find that same hope for yourself is unimaginable.

The same taunts that Jamey faced daily – being called “fag” and “girly girl” – tons of other students also face on a daily basis. Jamey had a supportive family and was seeking the help of professional therapists. Until those that harass are held accountable for their actions each time they exhibit those despicable actions, there will be no solace for kids who face that kind of torture. Students who bully must be held accountable. It is easy to say (as I have heard a million times) that those that get bullied should just get tougher. They should just not listen to those people who insult them. Anyone who says that must never have been in a victim’s situation. The way I try to explain it to kids is to think of the one thing that you are most insecure about – your weight, your acne, your height, your family life, your sexuality, your intelligence. Then imagine that everyone else not only noticed your insecurity, but pointed it out to you every second they could. They made you feel worse about it every time you stepped out of your house or logged onto your computer. Our own insecurities are enough to keep us teetering between good and bad self esteem. When the rest of your peer group decides to point out what you think are your biggest flaws to everyone else, the scale quickly tips.

Jamey Rodemeyer was a shining example of someone who tried to inspire in spite of personal struggle.. His death is a tragedy and his message is very powerful. Maybe this will be the time everyone can learn how important it is to treat everyone around you with respect.

In beautiful Pennsylvania, of which I am now a resident, lies Wissahickon Middle School. From the get-go this group had tremendous energy and enthusiasm for the role they had been selected for. Their performance was going to be part of a kick-off for their schools OLWEUS program. It is always great to be part of the OLWEUS kick-off because then I know for sure the school is going to continue to push the message; that the assembly is not the only thing the school is doing to make a statement about bully prevention.

The rehearse process went pretty smoothly for this group even as we lost some students each day to after school sports. They were so responsible they kept up with their memorizing even outside of rehearsal. Friday’s first assembly for the sixth graders was POWERFUL! Audience members were visibly moved by what they saw and heard drawing tears from several viewers. The debriefing sessions were conducted through the advisory program in conjunction with the OLWEUS approach. I was lucky enough to sit in on one and the sixth graders had such powerful things to say. The message got through to them in a big way. I was so proud of what they took out of the program. The slogan for the school this school year is BE THE DIFFERENCE and I could tell each student was trying to figure out just what they could do to make a change.

The second assembly had a location change since rain kept us from heading over to the high school auditorium. The performers handled the change like pros and made the most of the new location. Overall, I was impressed by this group and their ability to deliver. I was also impressed with the whole day – the school had really gone above and beyond to try and get their students to realize how seriously they are taking this issue. It was refreshing to see!

Wissahickon cast- you were amazing! I had a great time with you and hope you always remember how it felt to go out of your comfort zone to make a positive impact in someone’s life. Try to recreate that feeling as often as possible!

*Picture to come*

To start of the 2011-2012 school year, I returned to familiar territory – Monroe Twp.! This year, the middle school had moved into the old high school, so I was super excited to have the use of their beautiful theater. The group was wonderful from the start with a few younger siblings of my former students. It is always nice to reconnect to where everything started. The group worked really well together and kept focused on the task. By Thursday, I could not believe how great they sounded! What an amazing cast!

This week, I was also asked to speak to the sixth and eighth graders separately as the assembly was only for seventh graders. We had a lot of outstanding communication in those small assemblies. The eighth graders, having seen the program the year prior, had a lot of insight as to the effectiveness of the performance. We discussed their continued role as a bystander and to effectively take positive action. We spent a great deal of time discussing the individual stories of the kids in the powerpoint. A lot of times, audience members see the pictures of the kids who have committed bullycide and think that they bully they endured must have been so much worse than the bullying in their school. They are wrong – that is wishful thinking. Those kids who took their lived endured the same types of bullying as they see everyday. What the kids don’t understand is that you never know how one individual is going to handle being bullied or how much they have to endure on a daily basis. The same types of bullying go on everywhere – it is bad at every school. The kids need to get that through their heads and stop living in denial.

The Friday performance was incredible! My friend and former co-worker and I were so proud of this particular group because they really put everything into this performance. The audience was silent – the seventh graders stunned. The debriefing sessions that followed really opened up the discussion in a positive way. I was so proud of this group and hope they continue to use the momentum they built during that powerful day to be the positive change in their school.

Rounding out my school year was a stop at Haddonfield Middle School in South Jersey. I had been to Haddonfield three years ago and was so excited to return.  The kids in the group were excited and energetic when I met them which made me all the more excited to get to work. We had an outstanding rehearsal period as this group was comprised of seasoned performers. What was exciting to me was watching them explore their characters and add depth to their lines each time they said them aloud. We had one performance for both the sixth and seventh grade which was outstanding. The students delivered their lines with passion and power rendering the audience highly attentive. The debriefing sessions that followed were really excellent. The two that I stopped in posed some great questions and really seemed to get the message of the program. Several kids told me how shocked they were by what they saw and how they never realized how much of an impact they personally could make. Music to my ears!

Liam, Patrick, Amy, Matt, Arpie, Dana, Dan, Allison, Zoe, Lily, Drew, Frankie, Anna, Chris, and Claire…you guys were an excellent way to finish up the 2010-2011 school year. I was thoroughly impressed by your delivery of the lines and the poise you possessed in your debriefing sessions. I felt like we had a great opportunity to discuss your individual situations and the reactions you have to the bullying around you. Remember what I said about using your self-assuredness to help those in your school who may be much less confident in who they are. You have the opportunity to continue to make a huge impact on your school and the world around you by always doing what is right and what is positive. I hope to see you all on Broadway!

I just read this article about the increading movement to provide training and awareness to the bystanders regarding, in this article’s case, violence prevention. If there was a larger press to educated the bystanders as to the tools and choices they have when faced with an incident of violence and/or bullying, the bystanders would be better equipped to make a positive change in their environment.

http://www.newsweek.com/blogs/the-human-condition/2009/10/30/bystanders-no-more-teaching-kids-to-respond-to-violent-crime.html

Today I went back to Grover Middle School to begin compiling a promotional DVD to send to schools interested in the Bystander program. Not only was it great to see them all, but they did an amazing job remembering and reciting their lines. I cannot wait to begin work on the DVD!

Last week I returned to Central Regional Middle School in Bayville, NJ. Last year’s experience was wonderful so I was looking forward to another great week with some outstanding kids. I had a nice, large group of students to work with and they had a lot to offer in the Monday afternoon session. From Tuesday on it was work, work, work! We really focused on creating a performance that would work within the space provided with the students available.

The Friday performances were really excellent. In the first performance, we were met with some technical challenges and also a teaching opportunity. There were a couple of kids in the audience whom I heard making comments about some of the pictures in the Powerpoint. Following the performance, I took the opportunity to point out to the audience exactly how bystanders can get involved in a positive way. I told them that it was disappointing to hear kids making negative comments about kids who took their own lives thanks, in large part, to negative comments they heard on a daily basis. I told the bystanders in the audience that this is the perfect opportunity to tell those kids who made those comments that whay they said was not cool, funny, or acceptable. The bystanders have the chance to call those kids out for what they did and to help those kids realize that when they make disrespectful comments about others, they are not going to sit by and listen to it.

It was also exciting to see how the performers responded to that moment. The performers were charged up to speak to their classmates about the importance of the message they were giving. It gave them some extra fuel for their second performance which was outstanding.

Evana, Brian, Danielle, Nick, Tristyn, Rena, Maha, Nikki, Christina, Ana, NaCyla, Hazel, Kasey, Ashley, Savanna, Alicia, Michelle, Brianna, Alexus, Victoria, Mike, and Caryn…you guys were awesome on Friday. I was so proud of how personally you took the message and how strongly you wanted those students to realize your message. You are now equipped with the words to use so you can hold your peers accountable for their choices. Don’t let anyone disrespect someone else while you are around. Be the positive voices that start making some major difference.

Last night I returned to Quakertown to hold a parent performance for the Strayer and Milford Middle School parents. Amazingly, both casts came together well and presented a powerful, united version of the script. Following the performance, the kids, administrators and I facilitated an hour and a  half long discussion with parents and community members about bullying. It was so wonderful to see so many parents come out and be involved in the discussion. The performers addresses the parents’ concerns with eloquence and sincerity, reassuring some of the crowd that they will continue to promote the positive movement that began with the assembly last week. It was excellent to participate in such a positive discussion regarding bullying where everyone had the opportunity to share their views and concerns. It was very apparent to me that this school district takes bullying seriously and is continually working to provide a safe learning environment for their students.

Well done everyone! It was so wonderful to see you!!

Last week was really special for me. I had the opportunity to take my program back to the district I grew up in. I had the pleasure of working with the talented students in the West Windsor-Plainsboro School District at Grover Middle School. When I went through the district, it was a place where I could challenge myself, learn about myself, and explore dozens of options to expand my many interests. I could see from the second I met this group, that WW-P has continued to offer its students wonderful opportunities to develop into confident and articulate people. This group had a lot to say (about everything:) but also had some poignant comments regarding the bullying situation in their building. 

On performance day, I must say that I was blown away by the theatricality of the production they produced. The victims especially were so powerful in their delivery and really made a connection with each member of the audience. Students and staff alike were silent as all these actors said their lines emphatically and with dramatic intensity. It was a joy to watch. Having had the opportunity to practice in front of the parents the night before gave them more confidence going into their peer performances. The debriefing sessions that followed were even more powerful. Students were sharing their struggles with bullying and opening the eyes of their classmates. One particular boy challenged me by asking why they continue to have bully prevention assemblies. I turned the question back to him asking why the message hasn’t been heeded thus far. After a bit of discussion, we got to the idea that everyone thinks that their one voice is not going to make a difference. So I told him, “I am one voice.” I wanted him to realize that, as one person, I have decided to try and make others aware of how powerfully positive their words can be. Each actor in the performance is one person who can influence their friends in a positive way to make choices that affect their peers. I challenged him to be the one person in his group of friends who finally decides they are not going to sit and watch anymore. They are not going to let other people get away with making some kids feel terrible about themselves. It is only when each individual realizes the power of their one voice that things will start to change.

Breajsha, Austin, Devon, Griffin, Melodi, Jenna, Matt, Paco, Angela, Dan, Brian, Allie, Edlyn, Danielle, Jason, Ryan, Maddy, Ricky, Ryan, Anchal, Ravia, and Joey…you guys were such a pleasure to work with. You demonstrated not only powerful speaking talent, but great character as you guided your classmates to make better decisions. I truly hope that you continue the movement you started last week and exemplify the words you said in the performances and the debriefing sessions. You have such an opportunity to be the change – challenge yourself to keep making a difference by being a positive force.